My Unique approach


My Approach

You’re here because you want to change something in your life. Typically, your self-help efforts appear insufficient or will stagnate. It might mean that these patterns are deeply integrated with who you are, but they have been rendered ineffective in time. To achieve change requires then learning on a deeper level of your identity. I can give you back a choice to behave, feel and act differently.

To fix those issues in your life, there are two routes we can take together. Here as well I would like to support your ability to choose what and how you would like to learn to deal with your problems. This I’ve found, has always been a more effective for my clients.


The first path

The first avalaible path is where we’ll work on a very practical level so you can learn to cope in a better way by finding appropriate strategies. The second path we can take together is to work on a deeper level on your identity and personal history to see how you got stuck there in the first place.

We’ll explore your aspirations and see whether you prefer the more practical or the identity level type of transformation. Remember, you remain in charge as this is all about you, your autonomy, your boundaries, your empowerment, your resilience, and what you are aspiring and aiming for. If you want to know more about boundaries, click this link. If you want to know more about resilience and empowerment, click this link.

But learning on an identity level is a process of personal growth where we don’t just look at your behavior (which most therapists do). Therapists who prefer that approach focus on the negative behavior they wish to eliminate and discover what’s triggering this specific behavior. They’ll teach you to observe your behavior and manage the triggers to begin to think and act differently.

But the problem with this approach is that it’s quite a narrow, problem-solving way to solve your issues. For example, if you want to quit smoking, your therapist might look at when you smoke the most and explore how to control it better. The aim will be to quit smoking by looking to stop your triggers. You might aim to remove the triggers and use other resources to support yourself, such as nicotine patches. But that’s only a skin-deep approach to addressing your unwanted behavior.


Identity level path

I also offer to work on an identity level to look at your self-defeating behavior or addiction. Self-destructive or addictive behavious can have many manifestations. Let’s take smoking as an example. We can look at the meaning of smoking in your life and how your personal history has got you here. I managed to quit smoking over ten years ago by using this same approach, addressing my own personal history. I discovered how my smoking habit first emerged as teenage strife, a struggle for power and autonomy. Later it became just one of many aspects of self-sabotage and unhealthy uncaring habits. This further revealed how I used to build unhealthy relationships with myself and others. Behind smoking and self-harm, I discovered deeper wounds that needed attention and started to build a healthier relationship with myself. I learned the meaning, price, and impact of self-care and self-love. This was very successful for me. And although I still can experience an occasional craving for picking up that cigarette, this helped me grow resilient and more free.

But whatever you’re unhappy about in your life, it helps to look at your personal history and how it first began to manifest itself. Typically, once it’s manifested itself, and then becomes a vicious loop that constantly repeats itself. It’s a survival pattern that emerges in our character, which results in the loss of choice. And these nasty loops give us no choice, and things just start to happen to us that we don’t want to happen. Then we rely on these patterns without realizing them. We are torn apart inside, and we lose congruence and autonomous choice. We live in constant cognitive dissonance. So until you consciously become aware of it and face your personal history – address your hidden demons – only then will you become disentangled from this curse and regain freedom in your life.


Methods and Instruments to help you heal and grow.

The founder of Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls, believed that meaningful contact (relationship) between people was as indispensable as food and water. People psychologically exist in, and through, a web of relationships. We experience psychological problems when relationships are disrupted or irreparably damaged. The Gestalt method relies on establishing and nurturing a meaningful relationship between therapist and patient.

Furthermore, the unique experience of human contact in the present moment offers an invaluable learning experience. The Gestalt method also applies awareness practice to relieve blocks, resistance mechanisms, and familiar mental traps.

Its methods also help you to connect to various – not immediately accessible – parts of your personality. This offers new, surprising perspectives and provides new responses to life’s questions. This can help heal past traumas and have a very liberating effect.

The founding fathers of NLP, Bandler, and Grinder, discovered that highly successful therapists masterfully used the connection between behaviour patterns, neurological processes, and their clients’ experiences. This modelled approach has proven to facilitate the effective transformation of behaviours.

In a nutshell, you develop and live your neurological patterns of thought and behaviour. These patterns form your ‘world model’ and ‘point of departure. It is unique. When you are ‘stuck in your model, you (re)create the same reality, successful or problematic.

NLP offers instruments and techniques for you to examine your unique neurological patterns of thought and behaviour. Once learned and understood, you can let go of debilitating or ineffective patterns. This will help you to achieve more emotional freedom and enrich your life. It can have a very liberating effect.

Developed by American psychotherapist Eric Berne, TA combines approaches and insights from therapy, communication studies, and personality theories. It is based on the core concepts of autonomy and intimacy of human contact. We all seek to enjoy autonomy to ‘shape our own life. However, our past experiences, relationships, adopted norms, and values challenge and restrict our autonomous behaviour. According to TA, we shape our lives following a script – a set of unconscious childhood decisions.

TA offers an approach to explore your life script and offers you ways to restore autonomy. TA can help you strengthen your autonomy by increasing awareness and re-experiencing spontaneity and intimacy. TA can help you to examine your unconscious decisions and unravel your life script. It will help you to understand your patterns of behaviour and change them. It can also help you to give meaning and purpose to your life and history.

This approach is based on the work of German family therapist Bert Hellinger. Our life is – from the earliest moment on – tacitly influenced by many systems.

We are born into our family. Our primary family (father and mother) is biologically, psychologically, and spiritually connected to their families. Our identity – who we are – develops in this and other systems (the family, first educators, classroom, sports, and student associations, where we work).

Each family system is unique. Specific rules and principles also govern it. The hidden dynamics and invisible influences affect and move us on a deep subconscious level. The systemic method can help you reveal these influences and patterns. It can produce a liberating and healing effect.

I am also schooled in using Emotionally Focused Therapy, Bioenergetics, Body- and breathwork, Mindfulness among others.

Online Therapy

Online Therapy

Are you shy? Do you feel safer and more comfortable in your own space? Do you suffer from panic attacks or social phobia? Or do you just simply not have enough time? Maybe Online Therapy/Online Counseling is an option for you to start getting help.

Groups and workshops

Group work

Do you sometimes notice yourself changing when in groups, meetings, big companies? What effect does a group have on you? What place and what role do you tend to take? Groups are a place for an experiment. A place to learn and understand your patterns of insecurities, compulsion, resistance, and blocks. Come to learn.

Thematic seminars

Workshops and seminars offer similar learning spaces, but they’re bigger, more intense, and more focused. Come to participate in workshops and seminars.

Systemic Constellation

Some of our hang-ups we can easily understand, but we still get stuck there. They resist our willful change. It might seem that these have nothing to do with our past or our origins. Well, do they? Come and explore how Systemic constellation can enhance your learning and therapeutic progress.

Workplace challenges

Personal growth

Struggles are a part of life – annoying, unnerving, and frustrating. Yet they also provide opportunities for us to grow if you focus on the right target, you can learn and thrive. Come to explore your challenge.

Leadership development

You might have a higher position in management, manage teams, oversee big budgets, and are vested with power and responsibilities. Yet you might need guidance and support more than those who work under you. Why? Come to expand your leaderships skills.

Trauma recovery

Trauma and its effects

Maybe you thought you were over your traumatic experiences, but now, all of a sudden, it’s dominating your life again. Maybe you feel it catches up with you in your relationships. Or memories, you wish you’d have forgotten, start to flash back into your mind. Come to heal.

Trauma – Addictive behavior

Every time you try to stop, you fail. This makes you feel even worse. You feel like a failure. Like you are a mess… and then relapse again. Why not take another path. Come to understand your addiction and discover its hidden story. You need to understand yourself and maybe discover parts of yourself, forgotten or suppressed…

Intimacy and boundaries

Sometimes you realize that you get involved easily in others’ lives. Sometimes you grapple with feelings of guilt, uncertainty, embarrassment, or anxiety, which you can’t explain. Sometimes you don’t know what you feel or want. … The patterns might have developed as a response to the earliest pain in our lives.

When it comes to relationships, everybody longs for a deep connection. We long for intimacy with somebody. But often some of us avoid these relationships or connections altogether or sabotage them. We may well long for intimacy, yet we may find it difficult to connect and commit. Why?

Trauma, self-worth and empowerment

Perhaps you struggle with your self-worth and self-confidence because you suffered from a traumatic experience in the past. Now you want to feel empowered. How?

Trauma, burnout and stress

Traumatic experiences in the past can compromise our boundaries and make us vulnerable… Our previously vibrant lifestyle or professional career can suddenly be disrupted. You feel drained, physically exhausted, and frustrated.  How can you recover and become more resilient?

Trauma, illness and malaise

Traumatic experiences in the past can compromise our boundaries…  it may make us more prone to react to changes in our body with anxiety, distress, and fear. This makes us more susceptible to illness. What can you do?

Couples Therapy

Forging mutual understanding and commitment

Is there constant bickering or misunderstanding in your relationship? You might be tired of it. You long for ease, intimacy and connection between the two of you. Come to explore how you can find each other again and restore your loving bond. Come to reconnect.

Intimacy and connection

Have you been drifting apart from your partner recently? Maybe you feel it’s difficult to reach him/her and you feel completely closed off from each other. Or maybe you feel anxious, uneasy, suffocated, frustrated, or confused when together. What can you  do to restore intimate connection and to make your bond more satisfying and meaningful? Come to explore.

Sexuality and Fulfillment

You might be in a long-term relationship, but you’re missing the passion and romance you once had. Or you may currently have a vibrant sex life with your partner, yet you feel like you are disconnected. It is confusing. What can you do? Come to rekindle fire and affection.

Individual Therapy

Hacking Living abroad

When you emigrate, you undergo a lot of changes. It is natural to feel disoriented, lonely, overwhelmed, or anxious. You might even feel like you are on a constant rollercoaster. Or you might feel lost… Come and find out what to do.

Navigating grief and loss

Sometimes you do not know you are grieving unless someone close passes away. You might feel nothing in life makes sense anymore. You feel like you lost yourself. Come to heal.

Persevering through illness and malaise

We all take our physical health for granted… until we get ill. A diagnosis or unexplained symptoms suddenly make you feel damaged. It is overwhelming. It dominates your life. Come to learn to grow free and live a full life.

Soothing burnout and managing stress

You previously led a vibrant lifestyle with lots going on. But suddenly, you feel drained, physically exhausted, and with feelings of confusion, frustration, or dissatisfaction. Come and find out what it means, how to learn from it, and how to recharge?

Reconstructing self-worth after trauma

You might feel it’s difficult to talk about money. Or you work so hard, yet feel underpaid or dissatisfied. Or maybe you overspend/struggle to save, and make ends meet. Money is a mirror. It might reveal that our self-worth once got compromised… Come to reconstruct your self worth and learn to empower yourself.

Addiction - Creating freedom from addictive behavior

Addiction can take many forms (food, smoking, alcohol, gambling, gaming, computer, drugs, sex, etc.). You find yourself in its grip. It seems to take over your life. It feels bigger than you. Come to find out how to let go.

Intimacy and Boundaries

You struggle in friendships and romance. Something goes wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it. Sometimes you feel that people constantly let you down. You end up fighting, resenting or just giving up. … Come to understand your patterns and learn to strengthen your boundaries and cultivate healthy intimate connections.

Sexuality and Intimacy issues

Sexuality and intimacy enhance our relationships, yet they are often covered in shade, hidden, uneasy. This can be confusing.  Sometimes you realize you have too many ‘intimate’ relations. Or you have a long-term bond, but passion all but disappeared…  Sexuality has a powerful pull. It can fulfil but can lead us astray – to secret affair or an addiction. Sexuality defines who we are.  Or you might realize that you have always felt different. Come to unpack and explore how to grow and build healthier, more authentic and fulfilling bonds.