My Unique approach

Q: Gestalt therapy

The founder of Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls, believed that meaningful contact (relationship) between people was as indispensable as food and water. People psychologically exist in, and through, a web of relationships. We experience psychological problems when relationships are disrupted or irreparably damaged. The Gestalt method relies on establishing and nurturing a meaningful relationship between therapist and patient. Furthermore, the unique experience of human contact in the present moment offers an invaluable learning experience. The Gestalt method also applies awareness practice to relieve blocks, resistance mechanisms, and familiar mental traps. Its methods also help you to connect to various – not immediately accessible – parts of your personality . This offers new, surprising perspectives and provides new responses to life’s questions. This can help heal past traumas and have a very liberating effect.

Approach

My Approach

You’re here because you want to change something in your life. Typically, your self-help efforts appear insufficient or will stagnate. It might mean that these patterns are deeply integrated with who you are, but they have been rendered ineffective in time. To achieve change requires then learning on a deeper level of your identity. I can give you back a choice to behave, feel and act differently.

To fix those issues in your life, there are two routes we can take together. Here as well I would like to support your ability to choose what and how you would like to learn to deal with your problems. This I’ve found, has always been a more effective for my clients.

Approach

The first path

The first avalaible path is where we’ll work on a very practical level so you can learn to cope in a better way by finding appropriate strategies. The second path we can take together is to work on a deeper level on your identity and personal history to see how you got stuck there in the first place.

We’ll explore your aspirations and see whether you prefer the more practical or the identity level type of transformation. Remember, you remain in charge as this is all about you, your autonomy, your boundaries, your empowerment, your resilience, and what you are aspiring and aiming for. If you want to know more about boundaries, click this link. If you want to know more about resilience and empowerment, click this link.

But learning on an identity level is a process of personal growth where we don’t just look at your behavior (which most therapists do). Therapists who prefer that approach focus on the negative behavior they wish to eliminate and discover what’s triggering this specific behavior. They’ll teach you to observe your behavior and manage the triggers to begin to think and act differently.

But the problem with this approach is that it’s quite a narrow, problem-solving way to solve your issues. For example, if you want to quit smoking, your therapist might look at when you smoke the most and explore how to control it better. The aim will be to quit smoking by looking to stop your triggers. You might aim to remove the triggers and use other resources to support yourself, such as nicotine patches. But that’s only a skin-deep approach to addressing your unwanted behavior.

Approach

Identity level path

I also offer to work on an identity level to look at your self-defeating behavior or addiction. Self-destructive or addictive behavious can have many manifestations. Let’s take smoking as an example. We can look at the meaning of smoking in your life and how your personal history has got you here. I managed to quit smoking over ten years ago by using this same approach, addressing my own personal history. I discovered how my smoking habit first emerged as teenage strife, a struggle for power and autonomy. Later it became just one of many aspects of self-sabotage and unhealthy uncaring habits. This further revealed how I used to build unhealthy relationships with myself and others. Behind smoking and self-harm, I discovered deeper wounds that needed attention and started to build a healthier relationship with myself. I learned the meaning, price, and impact of self-care and self-love. This was very successful for me. And although I still can experience an occasional craving for picking up that cigarette, this helped me grow resilient and more free.

But whatever you’re unhappy about in your life, it helps to look at your personal history and how it first began to manifest itself. Typically, once it’s manifested itself, and then becomes a vicious loop that constantly repeats itself. It’s a survival pattern that emerges in our character, which results in the loss of choice. And these nasty loops give us no choice, and things just start to happen to us that we don’t want to happen. Then we rely on these patterns without realizing them. We are torn apart inside, and we lose congruence and autonomous choice. We live in constant cognitive dissonance. So until you consciously become aware of it and face your personal history – address your hidden demons – only then will you become disentangled from this curse and regain freedom in your life.

Approach

Methods and Instruments to help you heal and grow.

Gestalt therapy

The founder of Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls, believed that meaningful contact (relationship) between people was as indispensable as food and water. People psychologically exist in, and through, a web of relationships. We experience psychological problems when relationships are disrupted or irreparably damaged. The Gestalt method relies on establishing and nurturing a meaningful relationship between therapist and patient.

Furthermore, the unique experience of human contact in the present moment offers an invaluable learning experience. The Gestalt method also applies awareness practice to relieve blocks, resistance mechanisms, and familiar mental traps.

Its methods also help you to connect to various – not immediately accessible – parts of your personality. This offers new, surprising perspectives and provides new responses to life’s questions. This can help heal past traumas and have a very liberating effect.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

The founding fathers of NLP, Bandler, and Grinder, discovered that highly successful therapists masterfully used the connection between behaviour patterns, neurological processes, and their clients’ experiences. This modelled approach has proven to facilitate the effective transformation of behaviours.

In a nutshell, you develop and live your neurological patterns of thought and behaviour. These patterns form your ‘world model’ and ‘point of departure. It is unique. When you are ‘stuck in your model, you (re)create the same reality, successful or problematic.

NLP offers instruments and techniques for you to examine your unique neurological patterns of thought and behaviour. Once learned and understood, you can let go of debilitating or ineffective patterns. This will help you to achieve more emotional freedom and enrich your life. It can have a very liberating effect.

Transactional Analysis (TA)

Developed by American psychotherapist Eric Berne, TA combines approaches and insights from therapy, communication studies, and personality theories. It is based on the core concepts of autonomy and intimacy of human contact. We all seek to enjoy autonomy to ‘shape our own life. However, our past experiences, relationships, adopted norms, and values challenge and restrict our autonomous behaviour. According to TA, we shape our lives following a script – a set of unconscious childhood decisions.

TA offers an approach to explore your life script and offers you ways to restore autonomy. TA can help you strengthen your autonomy by increasing awareness and re-experiencing spontaneity and intimacy. TA can help you to examine your unconscious decisions and unravel your life script. It will help you to understand your patterns of behaviour and change them. It can also help you to give meaning and purpose to your life and history.

Systemic constellations

This approach is based on the work of German family therapist Bert Hellinger. Our life is – from the earliest moment on – tacitly influenced by many systems.

We are born into our family. Our primary family (father and mother) is biologically, psychologically, and spiritually connected to their families. Our identity – who we are – develops in this and other systems (the family, first educators, classroom, sports, and student associations, where we work).

Each family system is unique. Specific rules and principles also govern it. The hidden dynamics and invisible influences affect and move us on a deep subconscious level. The systemic method can help you reveal these influences and patterns. It can produce a liberating and healing effect.

I am also schooled in using Emotionally Focused Therapy, Bioenergetics, Body- and breathwork, Mindfulness among others.

My Unique approach

My Approach

The first path

Identity level path

Methods and Instruments to help you heal and grow.

Online Therapy

Online Therapy

Groups and workshops

Group work

Thematic seminars

Systemic Constellation

Workplace challenges

Personal growth

Leadership development

Trauma recovery

Trauma and its effects

Trauma – Addictive behavior

Intimacy and boundaries

Trauma, self-worth and empowerment

Trauma, burnout and stress

Trauma, illness and malaise

Couples Therapy

Forging mutual understanding and commitment

Intimacy and connection

Sexuality and Fulfillment

Individual Therapy

Hacking Living abroad

Navigating grief and loss

Persevering through illness and malaise

Soothing burnout and managing stress

Reconstructing self-worth after trauma

Addiction - Creating freedom from addictive behavior

Intimacy and Boundaries

Sexuality and Intimacy issues